


The Day Slytherin Beat Gryffindor in Sixth Year

by earlgreypoof



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Quidditch, bfb amiright, idk how tags works so please excuse me, james potter is a sore loser, no pureblood supremacist bullying, very purple-prosey i apologise, yes i was converted by jegulus week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-24 21:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30078924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreypoof/pseuds/earlgreypoof
Summary: After a shameful Gryffindor loss to Slytherin, James Potter put on "an Oliver Wood" act in the changing rooms and Regulus sought out the pathetic sobbing noise coming from the shower stall.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter
Kudos: 34





	The Day Slytherin Beat Gryffindor in Sixth Year

**Author's Note:**

> i do not agree with any of JKR's views!  
> tw: drowning joke (if you weren't expecting that already)  
> this started as a joke but honestly i have no idea what it turned into, so take this lightly please.  
> i milked this oneshot out of a comment made in a @jegulushypehouse tiktok (that i believe has been deleted) but it went like "james pulled an oliver wood in the shower after reg beat him in quidditch and reg was like "stop that drowning is a dumb way to die"" and it was by the user @rachelandis (best variation of the drowning joke i've seen yet btw).  
> also, english is not my first language so blah blah blah just ignore any silly mistakes (or point them out if you'd like!)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that after James Potter had joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team, every match had been assured until the boy graduated. That truth _was_ universally acknowledged until the dismal game of October 1975. He didn't know what had brought such a fate to his team, whether it had been the furore of the almighty, powerful above all, stupid muggle god Zeus, or the particularly vile chants the Slytherin team's cheerers were throwing their way. However, neither of those could be the reason for such a vicious loss, and 160 x 170 was an abysmal defeat only fit for the strong to withstand.

After landing, he patted his teammates on their backs and thanked them for the hard work, while simultaneously wanting to wrench their heads off with a wooden spoon for partially causing the annihilation that would only happen in his worst nightmares. He decided he would let his friends know how anguished he was by striding tempestuously towards the vacant shower rooms hidden from all the other houses' rooms, whilst re-scrutinizing all the techniques used and all the cursed circumstances that might have led to his downfall.

Firstly, the tragic meteorological conditions that were catapulted in their direction that fateful day, which he knew couldn't have possibly affected their performance - he had them training incessantly in every weather possible since becoming captain. Secondly, the audience's disruptive pandemonium in the stands below, which frankly only encouraged their ego-filled heads above anything else. Thirdly - although he wouldn't consider this a pragmatic reason -, his teammate's forms, which were unquestionable once one had merely glimpsed at Sirius's or Marlene's incredible abilities. Hitherto, James had nothing.

So, after he burst open the bathroom doors, the pathetic, mangled, limp captain strode through to the farthermost cubicle of the room. Twisting the handle droopingly, he stepped in with all his clothes and sorrows, letting the boiling water melt his mind and clear it of everything, leaving a delicious numbness of bleary fog.

Except for one final factor he had been particularly avoiding, that emerged between the mist: Slytherin had a new seeker.

Regulus Black was the newfound addition to the otherwise inept Slytherin Quidditch team. And, to emphasise how truly mediocre it was, he was the people's new hope of painting the flags on the Great Hall at the end of term green again. Nonetheless, he was still disappointed when he had to manage a win without any of the other team members' efforts. At the moment that Regulus was in the clouds going after the snitch - which the opposite team had incompetently lost attentiveness to - if the ridiculous Potter had scored as little as two goals before Black caught the snitch, the game would have ended and Gryffindor would have won. If it hadn't been for that poor red-and-gold Seeker's capability, Regulus would not have caught the little fluttering ball.

More disgracefully yet, the other players undertook the indecency of solely ignoring him after they all descended and headed to the changing rooms. Regardless, the game had finally come to a trivially tedious end, and he could go back to the heaps of O.W.L.s schoolwork that were calling for him since they were assigned. Until, that is, he heard faint wailing coming from the other side of the wall and, favouring remaining as distant as he could from the team, followed the strangely familiar continuous sobs.

Upon entering the restrooms that neighboured the Slytherin ones, Regulus laid eyes on the only closed stall in the deserted area. As he approached the sweltering nebula of warmth that distilled from it and felt his emerald robes clamp to his arms, he rolled his eyes in the realization of who was the ludicrous human being putting on such a ridiculous show.

"Potter." Regulus opened the door, encountering a puffy-faced rose-tinted James trying to inherently suffocate in the white-hot water outflow. 

James forced his eyelids open under the torrential cascade, smiling mournfully at the sight of the other boy while still weeping vehemently.

"Potter, stop. Drowning is a stupid and ineffective way to die." The younger said, now soaking himself as he seized James's shoulders and upheld him against the stone wall, opposing the stream of water.

"BUT WE LOST TO SLYTHERIN! YOU BEAT ME REGGIE!" He half-jokingly half-actually sobbed and shed tears as stormy as the shower above them. 

"Shut up, Potter. People are going to hear you." Regulus blurted in his usual monotonous tone, yet his eyes were betraying him, and James became aware of the message. 

Swiftly, both had their lips together, eyes shut tight as to not conceive their outrageous actions, equally to every other escapade under the Cloak or inside the _secret_ secret passages. Then, as hastily as it had happened, they separated and waited for the small sliver of time when neither knew how to conduct the situation. 

Following those brief seconds of silence, James focused his eyes on Regulus's, ink-black charcoal devouring pearl-grey silver, and the miserable suffering to his question had been answered. _Regulus_ had been the one to distract him, as he soared through the brutal gusts of wind, raven hair tangling beyond repair, capturing the snitch between delicate fingers ever so effortlessly. As his miraculously handsome and alluring cheekbones were overlaid with the ghost of a victorious smile, right when he met James's brisk glimpses from below. As he lived through their past few weeks, secretly escaping to empty corners and this very washroom cubicle, only to exchange awfully doubtful looks and occasionally kiss while ignoring the gutting sensation of being led astray by one another. This boy had been his definitive demise.

This boy, who was immeasurably different to James, but despite everything still fit like lock and key to the older one. Both knew that whichever atrocity was happening between them was unexplainable, however, neither could let go of one another and neither wanted to, in all truthfulness. That being so, things would stay like this. And what was the most stupefying was that it was more than enough for James, who had always had a flair for the dramatics and for the stupendousness of epic phenomena. That meagre gossamer of a relationship - if one could even designate it as that - was everything and a bit more to the Gryffindor, and he knew it carried equal weight to the Slytherin, as much as he was that heart-numbing cold Dementor.

"Lost something, Potter?" He defied the interlocked gaze.

"Only the part where we stopped..."

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i did nick the first line from jane austen and i don't know if that was a nice little reference or just plain pretentious stupidity (as i have stated before i have no idea what i'm doing).  
> and yes, before you comment anything, 95% of this was written with wordhippo i was just having fun with the words and a very dramatic james, thanks.  
> that's all folks, cheers for reading! :))


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